I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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