I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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