You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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