Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize