But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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