I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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