dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
