I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize