I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
