If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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