Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
