Tell her she can't have a vagina
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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