I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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