i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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