I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
