So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize