You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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