No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
