My first STD was from a foam party
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think people are normalizing furries
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
