Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
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I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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