Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
