she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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