the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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