in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
