Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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