i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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