I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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