im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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