Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
What a dumb baby whore.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
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She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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