there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize