I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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