we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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