My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is Oprah even human
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
