just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
