We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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