I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
