I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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