Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
