Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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