grandma shit on top of the toilet
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize