I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The adults are the big ones right?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
