I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
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I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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