Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
