I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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