I could make wine with my vomit
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
