just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
