There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
