Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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