bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
