What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize