i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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