somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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