the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
