You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
