Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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